A personal letter to John Howard:
John, I don’t usually do this, but the world changed after 10/25 and tough times call for tough measures. I’m appealing to you personally, and John I’m giving you my personal advice for free. Cash-free comments from the media, John, and that’s probably a first in Australia.
John, you need to distance yourself from George W. Bush as far as you can as quickly as you can. Why do I say this, John? Because, John, the bloke is about to implode and it is going to be really messy.
How do I know this? John, even the stupid people in the USA are seeing through him now. John, religion in politics is fine. In fact, it’s a necessity, particularly in the USA. And it’s good for a leader to talk about his faith and the strength it gives him. It’s comforting to the herd. But for chrissake you’re not supposed to actually believe it! But John I’m afraid George really believes it and he’s not sticking to the script.
John, this week on 25/10 George W. Bush said this to George Stephanopoulos when Stephanopoulos mentioned that James Baker, faced with the utter disaster that Iraq has become, is looking for something between “Cut and Run” and “Stay the Course”:
He said, “Listen, we’ve never been ‘Stay the Course’, George.”
John, even the young libertarian fools in the USA have pointed out at least thirty times he and his spokespeople have most forcefully insisted that he would “Stay the Course” in Iraq. For example” on April 16 2004:
“And that’s why we’re going to stay the course in Iraq, and that’s why when we say something in Iraq, we’re gonna do it.”
Except stay the course, apparently, John.
And if you want proof that he’s barmy you could look here on the world-wide internet:
Now, John, either George is a total liar or he’s completely lost his marbles and his ability to maintain even the minimal level of rationality that he struggled to achieve before. I know how you feel about the truth, John, because you said, “Truth is absolute, truth is supreme, truth is never disposable in national political life.” Never, John. You said it (and good work, by the way - Leo Strauss would be proud of you).
But we know that surely he is not a liar because he is a real born again bible-thumping god-botherer. There’s only one alternative.
John, he’s completely nuts now. It’s quite obvious. And there’s no-one, especially not him, who can stop him from becoming certifiable.
John, why is James Baker nursemaiding George W. Bush? Why is Henry Kissinger all over the White House? John, George is in so much trouble and is in such a downward spiral that his Daddy is trying to dig him out of the hole, just like he’s always done - remember Vietnam and the Air National Guard? Daddy arranged that for him - pulled a few strings. Well, John, even Daddy can’t dig him out of the foul sewer that he’s dug himself into. It ain’t gonna work this time.
John, Iraq is a toilet and you and I both know it. We both know that you were suckered into it. He’s a nice guy. You believed him. You weren’t to know that he’s a nice guy who’s also a complete wacko! If he had any brains and any balls, he’d be in there finishing the job like he said. Get those Iraqis. Use all the firepower he’s got. Stop trying to seem nice. We never went there to be nice. We went there to strike them. That’s what God told George to do, remember?
“God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East.”
Whack them and then show them the love and peace of the lord. But no, now he’s lost his determination; he’s talking about “transitions” and “tactics” and looking for a way of getting out, when what he should be doing is whacking them harder and harder and making their life a complete misery until they bloody-well see the light. Who cares if the medicine is worse than what Saddam was dishing out? They can spin that. That’s never been a problem. (What about “You can’t make a black pudding without bleeding the pig,” John?) But George can’t do it. He’s in over his head. He’s drowning - drowning in blood, John - and, John, he’s going to implode and anyone who’s hanging around, he’s going to take them down with him. All the signs are already there. He’s in the quicksand and even your stick is not long enough, John.
John, look, it’s Vietnam all over again as even George admitted in that interview with George Stephanopoulos, and you know what happened at then end of that war. No, not the fact that we got ignominiously creamed. The fact that Labor won the next election! And you don’t want that, do we?
You really have to get away from him as far and as quickly as you can, because it is going to be really messy and you don’t want any of the mess sticking to you. Just get out. Find a reason, an excuse, anything. We know you can spin it. You’ve done it before. Jonesey will give you a good run, so will Bolt, Ackerman and Devine, and probably Cassidy, even though he’s ABC (wash my mouth out).
Say that Iraq was a “non-core commitment” or something. Or you’re “not getting out, we’re just pursuing other options and avenues for victory”.Whatever you end up doing, just say that’s what you meant by ‘victory’.
But get out.
If it looks as if you could get caught in the crap, hand over the reigns to Costello so that he can take all the blame. I know you’d like that. It would be poetic justice, don’t you think? He’d lose the leadership over it and someone with balls would get the job. Amanda Vanstone. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s your natural successor. She’s been a diligent student, John. She’s watched carefully, she’s practised your techniques assiduously. She’s got your front, your arrogance, your ruthlessness. She’d keep the ship steering in the direction you pointed it. Costello would turn it around and make it a “liberal” party, and that would be a real slap in the face.
Cut the ties with Bush, John. Take the troops and put them in the Solomons. I mean, all the troops. Make your own pre-emptive strike there if you have to. Stop pretending that our troops just want to be a helpful and friendly. You and I both know there’s a lot of simple-minded dickheads amongst that lot who just want to play wargames and shoot people up. So let them at it! Give them their heads. Show George how it should have been done.
I know it’s only my opinion, John, but you know me. If I don’t tell you who will? If I don’t tell you, the left, people like Costello and the leftist-sympathising, Amnesty-card-carrying Ruddock, will take over and the momentum to the right will be lost forever.
You have my total support, Believe Me!
Your mate (maybe your best mate)
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